Sleep? or Competing with me (you choose the title)

Ok, so I have a dilemma, I kinda forgot about some school work that was due until  about 11pm yesterday... Which resulted in me being up WAY WAY past my bedtime... (Like to the tune of 2 or 3am)

Then I got up for 830 WOD this morning... 

So my dilemma is this: I am moving in exactly 9 days. (Yikes!) and still have a lot of packing to do... Do I take advantage of this polar vertex that is causing 70 degree weather in the middle July and work on packing, or do I take a little nap (that knowing myself, would not actually be a little nap, but a few hours)... Hmmm tough choices. I think I'll start with a shower! 

(I'm kinda proud of that braid... wish it had held up to the WOD!) 

Also, a little victory from today: Back on Day 2 of Crossfit training, my WOD was 50 wall balls, which according to my little folder, I did on a 20 inch box, with a 8 lb ball today, took around 10 minutes. Today? that first set of 50 wall balls (14ish box, 8lb ball)? FIVE minutes! I feel like I beat myself on that one!

Which brings me to something else that I had to relearn this week. When I am at crossfit (or any are of life) the only person I am competing with, is me. Am I pushing myself past my limit? Am I consistently besting my personal records? Am I comparing myself to what I did last week or last month? Am I achieving small victories that lead to larger ones? (like doing the strength part of today with no box... for the first time, Over Head squats with nothing under me!) Cause if I'm comparing myself to others, I'm gonna be defeated. If I am trying to do what Allison, or Christy, or Susan or (insert any name of any other crossfitter her) then I will never succeed. I have to do what MY body can do. One day, I will do a strict pull-up, one day I will do a Wall Ball WOD with no box under me, one day I will run a mile without stopping. But for today? I will keep doing my ring rows, squatting to a box, and running my short distances. Cause when I do that, I win. 

Qualifying

If there is one thing I can be confident it, I have really pretty eyes. And a really pretty face. The rest of me? Well I don't know, cause no one ever compliments those, without a big girl disclaimer. 

A few days ago, Robinette, who I have mentioned before, posted this video to his Facebook page: 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=862738187073242&set=vb.100000112074452&type=2&theater

(Let's hope that works... If not, I shared it several days ago on my FB page. Look it up)

And let me say, as someone who spent most of her adolescent and young adult life in the plus size category, This is so real! As a child, I did not carry extra weight, but somewhere around middle school, my mom went back to work, and I gained some very unhealthy eating habits. Those, the beginning of the path that lead me to where I am today. 

It's funny how many times a compliment can be turned into source of emotional hurt. How often a complimentor can honestly say something they think is nice and uplifting, but becomes a source of anguish for the complimented. All becuase you wanna add on a qualifier, and maybe I'm jot sensitive to it, so I don't notice it, but I don't hear that qualifier towards any other group of people. I never hear "Man, you're smart, for a tall person" or "Gosh, you're dedicated, for a blonde person" what does one have to do with the other? Why do you feel the need to qualify everything. 

These "qualifiers" can stick with a person, I hear them all the time. My dress gets complimented, my makeup gets complimented, my shoes, my jewelry, but rarely my appearance. And yes, I love when you notice my dress, and make up and shoes, cause I put time into presenting myself. I put effort into my hair and makeup (most days), so please, keep complimenting. But occasionally, just tell me I am beautiful, tell me I look good. You may not even hear this qualifier in your words either, maybe I'm sensitive, I don't know, but it comes in o many forms it's hard to list them. Telling me I have junk in my trunk? Not a compliment, my proportions are not a "junk in the trunk" body... Comparitively, I have no booty... It's flat from my lower back to my thighs. I just have fat. Looking at me and saying "I'm so surprised you can handle crossfit!" Not an encouraging "yay you" statement. I am capable. Tell metci are proud that I am doing it, that I am getting healthy. Not that you are surprised I can. When we walk somewhere, don't be surprised that I turn down your offer of driving the short distance, be excited that we get to spend an little extra time together on the trip. Stop treating me differently, because I carry a few extra pounds, I will let you know when I need something. Words can hurt, but even worse, implications can hurt more. 

When I was a junior in high school, I met a friends mom for the first time and I remember her saying "you have SUCH a beautiful face!" Extra emphasis on the such. I remember thinking at the time "what about the rest of me?!?!?" It's amazing how almost 10 years later and I STILL fixate on that comment! I hear it in my head almost everyday while I'm styling my hair, or putting my make up on. It's a tough one to get over! 

But even tougher? Getting myself to stop hearing those qualifiers. Cause sometimes when my friend says "that's a really cute dress" it's because my dress is really cite, not because she felt the need to find something to compliment, and settled there. And when my sister says "Your eyes are really pretty" it's because of that super awesome new mascara you got yesterday, and because you have some awesome eyes not because your body is not worth complimenting. And when my coworker comments on the junk in my trunk, it's because she appreciates the way the shirt fits my body, not because she wants to excuse my booty being bigger then average. And I really think that's the heart of th issue with qualifiers, I hear them one way, when you said them a different way. 

But seriously, stop with the "for a big girl/guy" phrase. I am beautiful. Because I am a person. I am talented, because I have talent. Robinette is attractive, because he is attractive, he moves well, because he has a talent for dance. You are awesome, because you are awesome. No qualifiers. No exceptions. You don't have to qualify to be a person. 

Confession time

Ok, so here are a few confessions: 

1. I almost never get enough sleep. I am a night owl, stay up late, drink coffee tomorrow! 

2. I almost never count my burpees right. I tend to find myself counting 1 for the push up part, 2 at the jump, 3 at the push-up, etc. But only sometimes. So I'm never completely positive that I did the right number of them.

3. I have a sweet tooth. Which sometimes gets the better of my self control

4. I've fallen back into fast food habits. (A lot of excuses can be placed on this one... Busy month, moving has thrown off my schedule, I keep forgetting to go to the grocery store, etc. But really, I just let myself get back into it. 

5. I really am not so terribly torn up over #2...

6. I purposely did not get up this morning for the WOD. I didn't oversleep. I straight up didn't set an alarm last night. 

7. I just ate three pieces of pizza. Something I haven't done in a LONG time. And I now feel very not good. 

8. I really need other people to tell me thy are atruggling with nutrition too. Cause I LOVE all the advice and tips, but I could seriously use a "yea, I are three pieces of pizza last night and it was a bad decision" (or something similar) 

9. I can not stand that this list might not make it to #10. I really really need it to be an even number

10. I just stepped away to switch the laundry from washer to dryer, and found $22 hanging out in the dryer. I have no memory of putting said money in the jacket that I haven't worn since winter... 

And there you go . Confessions.  

Crossfit advertising

Ok, wanna know what happens when you wear a crossfit tshirt on a day that last from 530am till .... Well, I don't know yet, it's 10:30pm and I'm still not home... 

This is what happens: you talk about crossfit. A lot. 

Here are some things I heard today:

"Crossfit? Is that a Jesus thing?" -guy at gas station DIRECTLY across from crossfit

"Wow. How do you handle crossfit." -McDonald's person (blame Allison on that one, her kids were hungry!) also, not sure how to take the emphasis on the you part of that statement...

"Melanie, I am so proud of you doing the crossfit thing. Keep up the hard work'" -Ms. Suzanne, possibly one of the nicest, kindest ladies you will ever meet, who just happened to be a church camp today!

"Ms. Melanie? Your shirt is cool. Is it a church thing? Or from your college?" -kid at church camp

"Woohoo on the crossfit! Keep it up!" -Ms. Julie, via a text, so not really prompted by the shirt, but still! 

"So, how do you like doing crossfit?" - Larissa, as I'm meeting her for the first time to exchange info to house/pet sit for her, which was followed by a truthful conversation, which are always Super Super rewarding to have!

"So, you are a part of the crossfit trend? How do you like it?" "I really enjoy it, it's tons of hard work, but totally worth it!" "Wait, isn't that like a boot camp thing?" "No, it's......" "Oh, well it's great seeing things that say college park on them!" -lady I'm babysitting for (for the first time) (currently sitting in her living room, FYI) 

So yea, I plan on stopping by the bank on my way home tonight, wonder what gems I'll hear there... From that ATM... ;) 

Oh, and in case you wanted to see the super awesome crossfit shirt I was sporting all day, here it is: 

If your not happy, change.

Ok, so I have a new Netflix obsession, like I'm losing sleep over this show, and can't seem to care. I started watching it somewhere around Tuesday, and finished all 22 episodes of season one this morning. this show is pretty great, but several things happened in it (like with any show) that kinda made me wonder. Like, if you have this heightened sense of hearing, like you can hear people from MILES away, how did you not hear the person walking up to you, who then shot you? And, if you're trying to live a life off the radar of every other person in the world, why would you jump from a 5th floor fire escape onto the back of a dump truck, and then be surprised that someone saw and figured out that the person who lives on the other side of that fire escape knows you? But seriously, its a great show. I'm currently goggling all the illegal ways (Shhhh!)  I can watch the second season without paying for it...

Anyways, all that to say this: one of the comments made on the episodes that really bothered me, like i didn't pay attention to anything else, and had to rewind it bothered me was this: *while offering coffee* "I bet your a one sugar girl."  "Black, I'm on the Neanderthal diet"   "What is the Neanderthal diet?"  "Nothing a caveman wouldn't eat. I'm ready to kill someone for a carb."

Sound familiar? Yea, she is on the Paleo diet, and apparently not so happy about it... If her body language and words can be believed... and here's the thing that bothered me, why do something that doesn't satisfy you? I'm so tired of hearing people talk bad about their own choices. Ok. so Paleo doesn't do it for, the answer is simple, find something that does. Which yea, I get that part of the fun of being on a "diet" is the fact that you get to complain about it. However, you wanna know what ALL my research, reading, talking, and limited life experience has already taught me in this field of healthy living? That if you are not 100% satisfied with what you are doing, if you are constantly craving something else, you will not succeed on the path you have chosen.

Find a life style, a fitness plan, that works for you and your body! One that won't leave you crabby and wishing for something else, because eventually, you will break down and back slide.

Find one that you can be proud of, that when you find a recipe that fits, and you love it, you wanna post that picture to every social media sight you have.

Find the plan that allows you to be you.

Find the plan that allows you to be proud of the work you accomplish, not shamed by the failures you place upon yourself.

Please understand, I'm not saying that you should indulge in every type of food you desire, cause I mean, that is one reason I am even at this point in my life. But seriously, eat the spoonful of cookie dough you find in your friend's fridge, then move on to the strawberries for snack time.  Eat that bowl of peach cobbler that you and your nieces and nephew worked hard to make (even if you used the wrong kind of flour and the crust didn't rise the right way!) Just don't make cobbler with those cuties every time you see them. Say no to every piece of cake that is only mediocre and only eat that piece that is to die for, cause seriously, nothing taste much better then double chocolate cake with fudge icing. (just don't take that cake home with you, leave it right where it is on the counter at your friend's house!)

Also, i worked out this week, and it was great...

I slacked on the selfie and Wod pics though. Oops!

So, I will leave you with the cuteness that is my new crossfit tank...

When it rains, it pours, then stops completely.

So, that title? Not figurative, as in everything in life goes wrong at the same time, but it's actual, like it didn't just rain, it poured, then it stopped completely. 

Wanna know what happens when you are in the middle of this WOD when it starts raining?

This happens: 

And it's not so bad run/jog/walking in he rain, what was bad was after that rain stopped, and I was soaked, and had one more round to do. Not the funniest. :) but hey, 3 rounds in 33 minutes? I'll take it! And kaylie- if you read this and text me the WOD I'll bring you Greek food in two weeks... 

No AC...

So, I'm living an AC free life... For loads of reasons 1. It's cheaper 2. It's better for the environment 3. It makes you appreciate air conditioning when you encounter it. 4. The first three are crap. It's broken. In my house, and in my car. Which means I spend a lot of time hot and sweaty.

Have I ever told you that my least favorite thing is to be hot. I HATE sweating. Like hate hate it. Not "oh I kinda don't like that" but serious, would curse at sweat if I could hate. Which makes this summer thing about the worst thing ever in my books. (Of course, the pool and friends who let me hang out in their AC enabled houses are the best)) 

That all being said, CF at 830 in the morning is great... Not so hot outside that I'm already sweating from heat, and early enough in the day that it gets me pumped for the rest of it. Well, this morning when I was asked to babysit during that 830 time slot, I said yes to the money... Planning to do the crossfit thing later. I spent the majority of my day packing the non essential in my kitchen (did I mention I'm moving in a little under 5 weeks and I keep having panic attacks about getting everything packed?!?) After packing all day, it was crossfit at 4... Which I walked in already sweating and didn't stop until I got home about 2 hours later... But hey, I did learn that the best place to be during a crossfit WOD when it's 90 degrees outside is a little outside of directly under the ceiling fan... 

Any who, here is today's WOD, sorry no cute collages today... I just don't feel like it.

Did that with 55lbs in 10:07! Which I am pretty proud of, when I started I told myself I was gonna do it in 12 minutes, which changed to 10 somewhere around minute 5 when I hit number 15. And hey, seven seconds over, I'll take it! 

Also, here's a cute little post crossfit selfie: 

 

And yea, I had some nice sweat going, which looked great when I went digging in the family dollar cardboard dumpster to borrow (steal) boxes... But hey, looking a hot mess while dumpster diving? That's pretty much what crossfit is all about right? ;)